bado yupo shule

Jost alienda kutoa posa kwa wazazi wa Anna, alipofika baada ya salamu mazungumzo yalikuwa hivi.

Jost: nimekuja kutoa posa nataka kumuowa binti yenu.

Wazazi: mbona mtoto wetu bado yupo shule?

Jost: poa, ngoja mi niende nitarudi akifunga shule.

Yes and no

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no

undying love

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear.

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

game went into extra time

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

this soup tastes funny

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

Waiter: Funny? But then why you aren't laughing?

How old is your father?

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me.

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

no time for superstitions

1st thief: Oh! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief: Hurry! This is no time for superstitions.

call a lifeguard

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.

Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Give the menu card

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

dead insect in my soup

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead insect in my soup.

Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

I got a 100 in school today

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"

"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me about it." "Well, "began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."

do you serve beef?

Customer: Waiter, do you serve beef?

Waiter: please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Is this my train?

Lady: Is this my train?

Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.

Station Master: No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

who is a pharmacist?

Teacher: who is a pharmacist?

John: raised up his hand

Teacher: so its only John that is the most intelligent student i have in this class?

So there is no body else to answer the question except John?

(there was no reply from the students)

teacher: ok now John, use this cane and flag them ten strokes of cane each....

John: full of happy gave all the student ten hot strokes of cane....

Teacher:  my dear John tell this dumb student who a pharmacist is...

John: A Pharmacist is a farmer who assist people.

Teacher: fainted

Condom

Condom aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
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