important incident

After answering correct, the teacher said, 'Smith, tell me an important incident which never happened before within ten years'.

Smith: I answered correct today. 

John Smith

Teacher: I think you are chewing gum.
John: No Sir, I am John Smith.

break your promise too

Teacher: You promised me to submit me a paragraph, right?

Student: Yes Sir.

Teacher: And I also promised that if you fail to submit it, I will punish you, right?

Student: Yes Sir, so it will be fair if you break your promise too. 

are late today

Teacher: You are late today Mike.
Mike: Sir, I obeyed a sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Mike: COLLEGE AHEAD, DRIVE SLOW. 

I don’t think I deserve Zero

Student: I don’t think I deserve Zero in this answer paper.
Teacher: Agreed. You deserve -1.

snakes don’t have feet

Teacher: Suppose, you have a box which contains a 10 foot snake...
Student: But Sir, snakes don’t have feet. 

wawindaji

Kuna jamaa
wawili,walikwenda
kuwinda,mmoja alikuwa
mtaalamu wa kulenga
mwingine wa
kuchuna,mtaalam wa
kuchuna alibaki garini na
mwenzake akashuka
kuwinda,anakatiza
kichakani mara simba
huyoooo!ikabidi jamaa
aanze kukimbia vibaya mno
huku akipiga kelele fungu
fungua......,mwenzake
akafungua mlango wa gari,
jamaa anakaribia mlangoni
huku simba akiwa
nyuma,simba
akarmrukia,bahati mbaya
jamaa akaanguka
chini,simba akajikuta ndani
ya gari,jamaa akaamka
fasta akafunga mlango na
kumwambia
mwenzake,''ANZA
KUMCHUNA NAKWENDA
KULETA MWINGINE''......

Valentines Day Jokes

·         Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?

A: Hogs and Kisses!

·         Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?

Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!

·         Q: What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?

A: “Be my valenstein!”

·         Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?

A: Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

·         Q: What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?

A: He gives it a Valenshine!

·         Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”

Boy: “Really?”

Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”

·         Q: Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?

A: Because you can really party hearty!

·         Q: What did the cholcolate syrup say to the ice cream?

A: “I’m sweet on you!”

·         Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

A: A hug and a quiche!

·         Q: Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

A: Because you always heart the one you love!

·         Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

A: It was Valenswine’s Day!

·         Q: What do you call a very small valentine?

A: A valentiny!

·         Q: Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?

A: Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

·         Q: What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

A; “I love you with all my art!”

want your wife

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

on Valentine's Day

A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely, "Um, would you mind if I give you company?" She made a furious face and yelled at the top of her lungs, "How dare you asked me to sleep with you tonight?" Everyone in the pub started staring at the man who was completely embarrassed. After a few minutes, woman walked over to him and apologized - "You see I am a student of psychology and studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. I am sorry but I was just doing my experiment!" The young man suddenly gave a loud yell, "What do you mean $200?"

biting insects

Teacher: Tell me a way to prevent a disease which is caused by biting insects.
Student: Don’t get bitten by them. 

new video game

Teacher: If your father and mother both give you 50$, what you will get?
Student: A new video game.

you have 2$

Teacher: Suppose, you have 2$. You asked your mother for one more. How many would you have then?
Student: 2$
Teacher: Why?
Student: Because my mother won’t give me any. 

give you 2 dogs

Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now. 

Exam Hall Joke

sir : if any dought ask me

student : sir, in question paper question is there but in answer paper no answer is there