two rabbits

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?

Paddy: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

exactly what I said

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?"

"That's exactly what I said!"

My homework

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."

paying attention to me

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

go back tomorrow

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!

spoiling all our fun

Mother: How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

someone already there

Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line?

Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there!

get up early

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

lowest mark I could give you

Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!

Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

so great about that

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.

So what's so great about that?

It's snowing outside!

you bring it back

What would happen if you took the school bus home?

The police would make you bring it back!

In school

Son: I can't go to school today.

Father: Why not?

Son: I don't feel well

Father: Where don't you feel well?

Son: In school!

she didn't give me one

Mother: How do you like your new teacher?

Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!

my father speaking

Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.

School Secretary: Who is this?

Pupil: This is my father speaking!

wit ur tooth burush

Dad 2 son: wen i beat u how do u control ur anger?
Son: i start cleaning toilet.
Dad: how does dat satisfy u?
Son: i clean wit ur tooth brush.

By Mariam