If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
tangazo one
Abidal
Monday, February 13, 2012
on Valentine's Day
A very shy guy goes into a pub on Valentine's Day night and sees a beautiful woman at the bar. After a long struggle with his shyness, he finally managed to walk over to her and asked her politely, "Um, would you mind if I give you company?" She made a furious face and yelled at the top of her lungs, "How dare you asked me to sleep with you tonight?" Everyone in the pub started staring at the man who was completely embarrassed. After a few minutes, woman walked over to him and apologized - "You see I am a student of psychology and studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. I am sorry but I was just doing my experiment!" The young man suddenly gave a loud yell, "What do you mean $200?"
Sunday, February 5, 2012
biting insects
Teacher: Tell me a way to prevent a disease which is caused by biting insects.
Student: Don’t get bitten by them.
Student: Don’t get bitten by them.
new video game
Teacher: If your father and mother both give you 50$, what you will get?
Student: A new video game.
Student: A new video game.
you have 2$
Teacher: Suppose, you have 2$. You asked your mother for one more. How many would you have then?
Student: 2$
Teacher: Why?
Student: Because my mother won’t give me any.
Student: 2$
Teacher: Why?
Student: Because my mother won’t give me any.
give you 2 dogs
Teacher: Suppose, I give you 2 dogs. Then I again give you 2 dogs. How many will you have?
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.
Student: 5
Teacher: How?
Student: I have a dog in my house now.
Exam Hall Joke
sir : if any dought ask me
student : sir, in question paper question is there but in answer paper no answer is there
student : sir, in question paper question is there but in answer paper no answer is there
TEACHER & PAPPU
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU
Student Jokes
The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a
loan, how many pounds would you still have?".
"Twenty" came the reply.
"How so?" enquired the teacher.
"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to".
A schoolteacher sent a letter to all parents after day one of the new term which said “If you can promise that you will not believe all that your child says goes on at school, I will promise you that I won't believe all that your child says goes on at home".
A young boy was teaching mathematics to a young girl, saying that this was his good deed. He kissed her; he then kissed her again; he kissed her a third time adding "There, thats addition". She silently gave him the kisses back sweetly saying " So that will be
substraction?". They then kissed each other at the same time. Both smiled and said together " That's multiplication.” Just at that moment, the young girls father arrived. He kicked him for two blocks exclaiming "That's long division".
loan, how many pounds would you still have?".
"Twenty" came the reply.
"How so?" enquired the teacher.
"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to".
A schoolteacher sent a letter to all parents after day one of the new term which said “If you can promise that you will not believe all that your child says goes on at school, I will promise you that I won't believe all that your child says goes on at home".
A young boy was teaching mathematics to a young girl, saying that this was his good deed. He kissed her; he then kissed her again; he kissed her a third time adding "There, thats addition". She silently gave him the kisses back sweetly saying " So that will be
substraction?". They then kissed each other at the same time. Both smiled and said together " That's multiplication.” Just at that moment, the young girls father arrived. He kicked him for two blocks exclaiming "That's long division".
Hilarious Teacher Comedy
Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.
Coincidence
The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.
Dumb Student Joke
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Pluto and Neptune. Everyone must attend it.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far.
Hilarious Student and Teacher Joke
Teacher asked, If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
The student replied: BROTHERLY LOVE
The student replied: BROTHERLY LOVE
Funny Teacher Student Joke
Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
ukiona dalili hizi mwahishe hospitali mapema.
1...kapanda daladala siti ya mbeli
karibia na dreva halafu ana
mwambia konda shusha
2...ku brash viatu wakati unaenda
kupiga picha ya passport size
3...kumwamsha mgonjwa ili umpe
dawa ya usingizi
4...kupunguza sauti ya redio ili
usome sms
5...kupanda kitandani halafu
ukasahau kama ndo una amka au
una lala
6...kukaa mezani unawaza huku
unagonga gonga meza halafu
ukashtuka ukaenda kufungua
mlango kumbe ni wee ndo
ulikuwa unagonga
karibia na dreva halafu ana
mwambia konda shusha
2...ku brash viatu wakati unaenda
kupiga picha ya passport size
3...kumwamsha mgonjwa ili umpe
dawa ya usingizi
4...kupunguza sauti ya redio ili
usome sms
5...kupanda kitandani halafu
ukasahau kama ndo una amka au
una lala
6...kukaa mezani unawaza huku
unagonga gonga meza halafu
ukashtuka ukaenda kufungua
mlango kumbe ni wee ndo
ulikuwa unagonga
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