TEACHER & PAPPU

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".

PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?

PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : PAPPU 

Student Jokes

The maths teacher asked Little Billy "If you have £20 and I ask you for £10 as a
loan, how many pounds would you still have?".
"Twenty" came the reply.
"How so?" enquired the teacher.
"Just because you ask me to loan you £10, it doesn't mean I am going to".

A schoolteacher sent a letter to all parents after day one of the new term which said “If you can promise that you will not believe all that your child says goes on at school, I will promise you that I won't believe all that your child says goes on at home".

A young boy was teaching mathematics to a young girl, saying that this was his good deed. He kissed her; he then kissed her again; he kissed her a third time adding "There, thats addition". She silently gave him the kisses back sweetly saying " So that will be
substraction?". They then kissed each other at the same time. Both smiled and said together " That's multiplication.” Just at that moment, the young girls father arrived. He kicked him for two blocks exclaiming "That's long division". 

Hilarious Teacher Comedy

Teacher: Whats the meaning of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?
Student: Bamba'lakkadi Jimba.
Teacher: I dont understand anything you said.
Student: Same here.

Coincidence

The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.

Dumb Student Joke

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Pluto and Neptune. Everyone must attend it.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far. 

Hilarious Student and Teacher Joke

Teacher asked, If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
The student replied: BROTHERLY LOVE

Funny Teacher Student Joke

Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old. 

ukiona dalili hizi mwahishe hospitali mapema.

1...kapanda daladala siti ya mbeli
karibia na dreva halafu ana
mwambia konda shusha
2...ku brash viatu wakati unaenda
kupiga picha ya passport size
3...kumwamsha mgonjwa ili umpe
dawa ya usingizi
4...kupunguza sauti ya redio ili
usome sms
5...kupanda kitandani halafu
ukasahau kama ndo una amka au
una lala
6...kukaa mezani unawaza huku
unagonga gonga meza halafu
ukashtuka ukaenda kufungua
mlango kumbe ni wee ndo
ulikuwa unagonga

mtoto alikuwa anaomba mbele ya wageni.

"Eeh mungu baba bariki hawa
wageni wote walio nimalizia
chakula changu,pia wabaliki sana
wasiludi tena"pia mbariki na huyu
kaka aliye mnywesha dada
sonsage ya ndani ya suruali
yake ,pia bariki wasichana walio
kwenye simu ya baba wapate
nguo, usisahau kuwa balibi
wageni wanao kuja kulala na
mama wakati baba akiwa safarini
wapate kwao Amen!!

Silly Teacher Student Joke

Teacher: How old is your dad.
Student: He is as old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Student: Because he became a dad only after I was born.

Maths Joke

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'

Maths Joke

A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'

unanionaje?

kulikuwa na wanandoa ambao ndio kwanza walikuwa wametoka kufunga ndoa karibuni. Siku moja mume alipotoka katika shughuli zake, mkewe akamwambia kuwa bomba la maji bafuni linavuna, mume akamjibu, mimi ni fundi bomba?
Siku nyingine mkewe akamwambia jamaa kuwa gari lake haliwaki hivyo akamtengenezee, jamaa kama kawaida yake na majibu yake, kwani mimi fundi magari?
Baada ya siku kadhaa kupita, mkewe kama kawaida akaleta shida nyingine kuwa paa linavuja. Kama kawaida akamjibu, unanionaje nimekaa kama fundi nyumba?
Siku iliyofuata alipotoka kazini alikuta kila kitu kimetengwenezwa na kuuliza kulikoni? Mkewe akajibu; nilipata mtu wa kunisaidia. Jamaa akajibu sawa nadaiwa shilingi ngapi? Mke akajibu. Hudaiwi hata shilingi kwa sababu alisema nimtengene keki au nifanye nae mapenzi kama malipo. Jamaa kwa wasiwasi akauliza. Umemtengenezea kekli ya aina gani? Mke akajibu, unanionaje, nimekaa kama mpika keki?

ulevi ni noma.

mlevi alikuwa anahojiwa na police kwa kosa la kugonga na kuuwa watu nane.
Police: ilikuwaje ukagonga?
Mlevi: gari ilipata pacha tairi zote za mbele na gari ilikuwa kwenye mwendo mkali likanishinda na mbele yangu kulikuwa na kundi la watu kumi na upande mwingine wa barabara kulikuwa na mtu mmoja.
Police: kwanini ulifuata hilo kundi la watu badala ya kumfuata huyo mmoja?
Mlevi: nilimfuata huyo mmoja tatizo na yeye akakimbilia kwenye lile kundi la watu.

nani muongo?

wanandoa walikuwa wanaishi nyumba moja kwa muda mrefu, siku moja mke hakurudi nyumbani hadi asubuhi aliporudi. Mumewe alipomuuliza akajibu alilala kwa rafiki yake. Mumewe akawapigia simu marafiki zake kumi, wote wakajibu hakulala kwao.
Baada ya miezi michache mume nae akarudi asubuhi, mkewe nae alipo muuliza akajibu alilala kwa rafiki yake. Mkewe akaamua kuwapigia marafiki zake kumi, nane wakajibu alilala kwao wakati wawili wakasema amelala kwao na mpaka sasa bado yupo kwao.